Saturday, March 24, 2012

Expose Your Pose

When I was a teenager reading Metal Hammer GR, there was a little column whose name I can't remember where an interviewer would play ten songs for a metal musician that was featured on the issue, and the musician would strive to recognize the songs, or at least the bands. It was always an entertaining read and I do remember some famous flops by highly visible metal artists that you'd guess have never heard of metal music before. I remember also that one of the Cavalera brothers from Sepultura did sterlingly on his try.

So, I'm bringing that back. But in a whole new, horrible twist, I'm not even going to ask actual metal musicians to tell me if they recognize this or that. After all, it really is besides the point if a metal musician is also a well-read metal affictionado. For all I care, they could have never listened to anything else than two Iron Maiden songs, if their own music is great, that's fine with me. Actually, I think too much slavish devotion to 'the history of metal' and its various sacred cows might lead to unambitious metal-making, but that's besides the scope of this little experiment.

No, I'm going to ask metal bloggers. I'm not even going to select the music beforehand. They'll be hitting 'shuffle' in their grand collection of mp3s and not looking at the media player's display. I bet most people that write on the web, especially for niche metal genres won't be able to tell their Generic Death Metal #4 from their Generic Death Metal #8, but we'll see.

The rules are as follows for those that are brave:

0. Put all your media in there and shuffle. If it's on your hard drives, you have to put it there. If someone only has say, ten records on their hard drive, this does not preclude them, in fact it is a very prudent choice and they should be applauded for their skillful play.

1. No Cheating in your reports. You're only cheating yourselves with further self-delusion. Write it like it is, if you don't know what the hell is going on in your hard drive, then that's what's going on. Chalk it up to terrible debris of modernity, chalk it up to middle-lower-class upbringing urging you to collect everything you once listened to like a little pack rat. Say whatever, just don't lie about knowing what you didn't.

2. If you want to go easy on yourself, informed guesses (artist name is enough) count as positive entries. In fact, guessing what something is by elements of it being familiar to you whereas the song itself isn't, is a whole different metalhead game tradition, so you shouldn't feel too bad if you can spot a Glenn Benton in some Vital Remains or whatever. You know a few things about the things you're pretending to know a lot about, at least.

3. Recognizing the artist and the album is enough to consider that a solid plus one on your final score. Further bragging about personnel on the record, date of release or other trivia is optional and will not change the score (but feel free).

4. If you didn't know at least Artist - Record (and *especially* if you guessed wrong), you have two after-play choices. Either listen to the record attentively three times in a row and keep it, or delete it outright. Be brave! Listening to music is not supposed to be fun!

So, no more delaying the inevitable. Let all poses be exposed. I will be the first to go.

1. If you feel like playing a more difficult variation by a degree of separation, middle click here to start the link in a secondary tab and try not to look at the name of the tab while you figure it out. Read below when you get it or if you've given up. If you do better than me with my own music library, I'll bend my knee in your general direction.

Starts with a wash of reverberating distortion... no idea so far. More noise. Am I listening to some leftover industrial hidden somewhere on my hard drive? Oh, the trills of 'Night on Bare Mountain' come in, this is Mekong Delta covering Modest Mussorgsky's masterpiece, off of their own masterpiece "Dances of Death (and Other Walking Shadows)". The cover is fair and I can't complain as it served as an introduction to the composer for me. Mekong Delta would go on to cover a lot of Mussorgsky, some well, some less so but that's a whole different story. Full recognition. An auspicious start to my experiment!

2. Middle click, listen, take your guess then read below.

Hmm... I'd say America. Obvious Iron Maiden heritage. The singer doesn't sound American, though. "Hell is for Heroes"? Probable song title? This is some obvious US Metal staple that I should be really embarrassed for not - oh, "Reach for the Stars" is the obvious song title, nice corona on the chorus. Is this Cloven Hoof? If so, shame on me for not realizing straight away. This can't be off of "A Sultan's Ransom" at least, I know that record inside out. *Checks* Yes, this is Cloven Hoof, off of Dominator. "Reach for the sky". I should really listen to that record properly. But this song isn't very good. I'll make the hard choice afterwards.


Oh no, dreaded post-metal, it all sounds alike! At least this is an easy one for me because I simply don't have a lot of post-metal on my archive. Obviously Isis. Off of Celestial. Is this "Collapse and Crush"? If not, it should be. *checks* Buh, Swarm Reigns Down. At least I got the correct record. Man, Isis sounded really different here as opposed to "Oceanic". The no distortion middle part here is really dry and kind of awkwardly played, they would go on to perfect that aspect of their sound later on. There's even some half-a-tone secondary voice in the bass range in here that's awfully off harmony, I guess they thought that was forward thinking at the time. Welcome to ten years of only dissonant post-metal riffing after this, thanks Isis!


No idea. This sounds so completely singular (in terms of bad production), it should be impossible to not remember it though. So I simply have not listened to it enough. If this is US Power metal again I swear, I'll delete it. Waiting for the chorus to see if any of my neurons decide to weakly flicker.

This singer is not a good singer. This post-chorus boogie is awful. I think I'm desecrating some US Metal holy cow here. *Checks* Blackkout - Electric Soldiers. Well, it's US power metal alright. I think this Blackkout has ties to the infinitely more interesting "The Last Things" and which is why I even downloaded this. I think I've listened it to it once. I will review the rest of the record thrice and if the songwriting is as uninspiring as this and the singing as awkward throughout, I am deleting. Here's my first mark of shame on this playlist.


Easy one. Took me two seconds. God, how I hate the voice of Haskell. The main riff of the song and how it alternates with the acoustic guitar parts is very interesting, though. Easily one of the better songs off of the gigantic irritation of a record that is "Lizard". King Crimson would never again scratch that particular faux neo-classical/jazz sore.

6. (not on youtube)

Took me until the vocals came in. Cirith Ungol, off of third third record "One Foot In Hell". At first I thought "Join the Legion" (which is the opener for their fourth and last "Paradise Lost") but it's not it. It's a testament to how generic the '80s period of Cirith Ungol sounds that one song could be on a different record and it'd fit right in. Whereas there's no possibility of mistaking any song off of their first two records as anything else at all. Still, mr. Baker is unmistakable, his voice is that of a terrible beast, one of the best there have ever been. The theme of too much US Metal continues.


Thousands of years before the dawn of history, huh? Fates Warning - 'Damnation', off of their original release, "Night on Brocken". Unmistakable perfection. Also US Metal, but at least, some of *the* best US Metal. People into Jazz should have some Fates Warning on their collection. People into horrorcore should. Everyone. I headbanged.

(An interesting aside, the verse melody that Mr. Arch is employing here has been 'lifted' by Tom Phillips of While Heaven Wept, I'm pretty certain.)


Oh no! Low end! Please don't let this be death metal!... *sigh*, that it is. At least it's moving very slow so I might eventually realize which doom/death band I'm listening to. Oh no, it picked up. The vocalist is positively guttural. Is this Finnish? Is this Krypt of Cerberos, perhaps? This riff sounds like Demilich, but Demilich I would never confuse with their lessers. Let me check. Yes! Crypt of Kerberos (and not the other way around). This goes on the delete pile even if I got a pretty good long shot guess out of it.


Messhugah? These ambient washes in the beginning sound familiar. Is this the intro to "Contradictions Collapse"? Ah, this is certainly Messhugah. Which song however. This is going to give me trouble. At least it's *good* Messhugah. By that I mean, here they still ultimately play thrash riffs that evolve and mutate, not just 'rhythms' that evolve and mutate. There's no way I'm going to identify which song this is, Contradictions Collapse (and "None" for that matter) are so uniform, I can only tell which songs 'Gods of Rapture' and 'Cadaverous Mastication' are. *checks* Oh! Terminal Illusions off of Destroy Erase Improve. A whole record off, huh? Delete.


"Dig Me", by King Crimson, off of the album "Three of a Perfect Pair". King Crimson save my ass twice in one playlist. It's impossible to mistake this song as anything else if you've ever heard it once, as it actually sounds like malfunctioning machinery. The clearly audible lyrics go on about just that. Dig me, don't bury me.

So, recapping, 9 out of 10 including guesses. But that's weak, so let's not include guesses. As per the rules, Artist - Record should count as at least partial recognition. With that criteria, 6 out of 10, which is pretty dire in itself. My pose has been exposed! How fare YOU, sir?


  1. 1) Piano intro is too mellow. What is this song? I don't think I've listened to this. Adele. Yes, voice is unmistakeable. Lyric good.

    2) QR. Choking up. Goose bumps on arms. Rage for order. I Only SEe in infrared. Tate. Thank you, brother. Speak to me. A million miles a way and you connect with me here and connect me to my desires. Yes, Deagarmo, you are in the way of the lyric with your solo. Fuck, writing and thinking gets in the way of listening...but.. ok. it stays.

    3) ahahha. Like this blender like riff and noticable base. American. Blinded first introspective lyric. Security. Human condition idea here. Once more the drama begins. come on you must stay. but the name will come. ... singer so clear, heart. tedious charade. come on... not light to grow... it will come to me....control...drum rolls ...dble bass.... volume must go up... guitar decencesnd...king diamond like middle....come on...oh come to me... devious second solo.....louder, sharp choppy notes are cutting so good,...emotions on parade...shit...over. death to this one. no second chances for me. life or death.

    4) atomospheric, guitar chimey, kinda cool, much echo, bass very pronounced, very cool, fretless, smooth...Intronaut, los angeles, sasha voice, last album, drummer varies patterns, band is tight, cooperating allowing everyone to breathe and speak, like the distortion, more echo notes on guitar, bass slides, distinct, song...not eulogy, albumn, damn, i forgot, i like their creativity but my pose is exposed again, i should know the song names, end is like red hot chili peppers with guitar noodling notes but chordal riff so heavy, will have to delete.

    5) QR, Its lonely in the field...Surgical Strike. Yes... must be swift at this day like lightening. Exactly... too much songs will weigh down. Get light, get empty, get clear headed. Surgical Strike open up the fear. Exactly.

  2. 6) Dave Matthews, hahahah. what are you doing here? Nice east coast voice of america. Carolinian? civil war contry. my thoughts have been there on Helm's cat skinned glove commentary months ago. Crash, violin with accoustic guitar strum...moves easy...boubon soaked voice. My fiance likes this, we have some songs in common rotation. this was one from years ago. Feels nice but so not of my thoughtstream now except for the fact that magic crashes into me. oh drums pick up at the end, d chambers, talented, tasteful, i think. head nodding but must live in the now and will delete. purge.

    7) Fave number. Cynic. King of those that know... to the pure of hope. Of fucking course. Universe with me. High fuck'n 5. An ocean born of tears, no kidding. Like the voice of one song i recently started listening to in theme. Sean is present and picking up. Varied textures of percussion. Paul solo... what..taking off clothes...exposure. This is not confusing music. Death....what is this last line of lyric? Must review after this game of life and death...album...Traces in Air, 2008 i believe. Love this song. Keep.

    8) QR. Walk in the Shadows, Rage for Order, 1986? Live, Dallas. Louder. They seem good live. I feel the entity they conjure. walk with me. yes, i will. will you walk with me? Cooperation. I love this idea. Go michael wilton, you are no slouch on your creativity. song is so short.

    9) erie bended guitar and keyboard intro... Finnish. Growth in volume...1990's. voice is distinct and invoking non, it is human introspection...It will come to me...shadow life...oh this is good middle change, airy picked guitar notes, i see a blue triangle and and eye...i feel cold, i see it live but what is the artist...this is Heavy Metal...doom picks up celit frost informed...great growly vocal delivery...fuck...i suck...i spent hours thinking about their castaneda ideas and can't summon their name. fuck... must delete.

    10) Austria. vocal not death metal. idiosychatic. high fuck'n five fro originality. please let me remember i want to keep this with me....behind,..Mayfair. Thank you, Adam, you saved this one from deletion. Now to Listen...and of course it ends to fast...

    End thoughts. Pose is exposed. Now what. Helm, enlighted brother, oh man, this is going to hurt for while. I will cooperate. It is for my betterment. Provocation stings. Fuck.

    Check you any blog comments out next weekend after i get my thoughts together.

    Best wishes to the pure in heart playing this game of life and death.

  3. 1.This is early doom could it be A pagan altar demo? Nope Foreign vocals. vocals sound finnish to me? Is this some early european doom? Black hole - Blind Men and

    dark forces

    2. This is Trouble the Vocals are unmistakeable. Can't name the album though. Trouble - tuesdays child

    3. 80's heavy metal. Singer sounds a bit like heavy load. Maybe it is from Stronger than evil (which I haven't listened much to) - Blade Runner - warriors

    of rock.

    4. clearly maiden influenced speed/heavy metal. But singer is channeling Halford. Sounds awfully famiar. Oh It is Agent Steel that makes sense. Agent

    Steel - Never Surrender

    5. Omen, from Battlecry. Die by the blade. ( finally an easy one)

    6.Clearly swedish 80's metal. But what band? Sounds a lot like heavy I dare guess them again? 220 volt - Helloween

    7. No idea this is an intro track to something. Could be any band. Desater - intro

    8.Filthy early tremolo riffs.Possessed maybe? No wait this is sodom. Sodom Outbreak of evil

    9. Techno Thrash. Is it something from Helms mixtape or something I accuired on my own? Sounds like sieges Wait watchtower. Watchtower - instruments of

    random murder.

    10. No idea. I don't remember owning this at all. a ballad. And ouch this isn't sounding to good. Pentagram - Windmills

    11. No idea. Poor production, Doom. don't recall this. Bedemon - touch the sky

  4. 1) Brother Firetribe - Heard It On My Radio

    Ashamed to admit that I recognized this during the first half second and I'm embarrassed to have this album on my hard drive but I secretly listen to it once a decade heavily boozed.

    2) Blackmore's Night - Ma-O-Tzur

    Well you can tell it's Blackmore's Night once you hear the vocals but can't tell the song title. Not really stirring up any feelings this one.

    3) Orange Goblin - Saruman's Wish

    Well another band with a sound so distinct that you can tell right from start who's playing. Couldn't remember the title right away, though. My memory doesn't want to remember names of any form.

    4) Grateful Dead - I'm A King Bee

    Again, the band is recognizable right away. No idea about the song title.

    5) Shadow Gallery - Ghostship (7)

    Shadow Gallery, one of those Ghostship parts perhaps?

    6) Camel - No Easy Answer

    Song title is apparent once you hear the first three words. I didn't know it's Camel. Their sound varies a lot on different albums.

    7) Queensrÿche - Blood

    Didn't have any idea of this before I heard Tate's voice. But the song is crap. Utter sewage. So is the album it is from.

    8) Jakszyk, Fripp and Collins - Secrets

    I recognize Fripp's boring guitar. Don't get me wrong I'm a huge Fripp and KC fan but Fripp can also be absolutely boring. More so in the 90's and 00's.

    9) Sonata Arctica - The Power of One

    Well what can I say... at least I'm playing this game fair and square. One of these bands erm... I used to like as a teenager and there are memories of first love etc. ultimately embarrassing band but we all have our "Sonata Arcticas" don't we?

    10) Opeth - The Moor

    I'd recognize the intro anywhere. First track of an amazing album Still Life. Not among my favourites from the album but definitely a strong piece.

  5. 1. Bad start. This is eerily familiar but I can't recall the band nor the song. American surely. Dramatic vocal delivery. The song relies too much on the chorus melody. USPM-like but not as fixated in the Judas Priest formula. 90s perhaps? Could this be one of those latecomers in the prog/power camp?

    Tad Morose - No Tears in the Rain

    Damn! TAD MOROSE. Swedish progpower much in the vein of american bands. I think I've listened to this album like two or three times but mainly for a few highlights. I'm going to delete this one right now.

    2. Dark guitar intro. Progressive metal I think but the more straightforward kind, Queensrÿche-like. Kind of sugary chorus. This could also be Tony Martin era Black Sabbath but I'm pretty sure I'd nail it then. The singer sounds a lot like Tony Martin though. I almost recognise him. Argh! What is this??

    Heir Apparent - Sweet City Child

    Hah! I guess I should've recognised Benito but I'm not familiar with this demo. Why do I even have this?

    3. Nerdy technothrash riff. Vocalist is definitely Japanese. This could be DOOM but I'll listen for a while to be sure.
    Hmmm. I'm kind of unsure about the singer but the music sounds so much DOOM... What other band mixes technothrash with punk and blues rock?

    Doom - Incompetent... The War Pig

    I should listen to these guys more. Weird, weird music.

    4. Meaty guitar accompanied with proggy keyboards. Nice drummer. The Vocals! Oh the vocals! Harry Conklin? Is this Titan Force??

    Fates Warning - A Pleasant Shade Of Gray: Part XI

    WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK! I swear Ray Alder never sounded like The Tyrant more than on this one! I need to give this album more proper listens.

    5. Death/doom. Some heavy guitar with organ and a whispering man. No! This is not death/doom! This is too drawn out and there's no death metal to this. This could be Devil Doll except that the "singer" doesn't sound like that guy.

    Abstrakt Algebra - April Clouds

    I've been meaning to give this album a listen...

    6. Oriental melodies and harsh black metal vocals. Melechesh?

    Melechesh - Dragons Legacy

    Second one right! However I can't name a single song from this album. Needs reevaluation.

    7. Hardcore punk? Wait... I know these lyrics! Type O Negative - Kill All the White People.

    Type O Negative - Kill All the White People

    8. Very uplifting lead guitar melodies, pretty fast, japanese. Unfortunately japanese made tons of melodic 80s speed metal and I can't recognise the singer right off the bat. Not Reaction, definitely not X or Aion, not Mein Kampf, not Rommel, not Zadkiel nor Sniper, not R.U.G. and surely not Front Guerrilla..
    The production sounds more like 90's even if this is imitating 80's speed metal. I'd say Vasalla but the singer does not sound right. Hmm.

    Kuroageha - Kiss Over Death

    Of course!

    9. I can tell from the guitar sound this is thrash. And the vocals are definitely Snake's. Dimension Hatröss-Nothinface era Voivod it is but what's the song. I'm ashamed.

    Voivod - Brain Scan

    Why couldn't it be Macrosolutions to Megaproblems. I'd recognise that right away. :|

    10. Gangsta rap. Is this Memphis-style? Yeah definitely Memphis-style. Tommy Wright III?

    Tommy Wright III - Getting Crunk

  6. [boast]I'd recognise that Mercury Rising singer anytime![/boast]

  7. This experiment is very fruitful in shame and despair. I like it.

  8. Alright, I'll give this a shot. With about 16,000 songs, I'm sure a lot of it doesn't get listened to regularly

    1. Something off the Slow Machete album I'm pretty sure. Not sure which song since I just got it. I don't listen to much like this, so that narrows it down a lot. Ok, the vocals came in and that definitely confirms that's what it is.

    2. Bob Dylan - Hurricane. I'm not sure what rock somebody would have to grow up under not to recognize the voice at least.

    3. Some woodwinds, some acoustic guitar. Sorta dark, not really going anywhere. Sounds like a Jodorowsky soundtrack or something. Really not sure. (Turns out it was a Jodorowsky soundtrack, off of "The Holy Mountain", which is where I recognized it).

    4. Tinny production, thrashy drums. Guitar that sounds like a hairdryer in the next room. Vocals in what could either be Finnish or Japanese. Definitely 80s hardcore, some solos. Whatever this is, I need to listen to it more. (Turns out is was Outo, old Japanese hardcore band)

    5. Mulatu Astatke. Recognize this one anywhere. Not gonna try to remember the song title as my Ethiopian is rusty. Great shit.

    6. 16 Horsepower - Splinters. Not as widely recognizable as the Dylan song, but anybody familiar with David Edwards' work would not be able to mistake his voice for anybody else's.

    7. One of the interludes on the Acheron "Rites Of The Black Mass" album. Pretty much as soon as the crappy lo-fi synth and pitched-down spoken vocals came in I called that one.

    8. Uh... another fast one. Also sounds Japanese. Tinny production, but a little more modern and clean sounding this time. A solo or two. Fuck this sounds familiar. (it ended up being "9th Nightmare" by Lip Cream, 'nother Japanese thrash band)

    9. New Model Army - 51st State, the version from the "...& No One Else" double live album. My favorite band in the world. Not gonna mistake that for anything else.

    10. Scooped-mid guitar tone. Snare that sounds like a ping pong ball. Guttural grind vocals. Assuck maybe? Wait no, the screechy high end vocals came in. Definitely Discordance Axis, one of the tracks on "Jouhou," can't figure out which song though.

    Alright, I didn't do too badly. My iTunes could've been a lot more dickheaded and thrown in the million or so old crust and grind bands I have on there that all sound more or less alike.

  9. Impressive showing! Thanks for taking the challenge, purplerainingblood.

  10. Time for me to play. My iPod is where I keep most, although not all, of my music, so its shuffle function should be useful. There are currently 14919 songs on here, and not all are of bands I listen to. Some are of promos I downloaded and then ignored and some are of things I've meant to delete. I don't expect to do well.

    I'd recognize this anywhere. Queens of the Stone Age, off of Era Vulgaris (far from their best album, but I don't hate it). QOTSA is one of my all-time favourite bands. I can't remember the precise title of this one, but I think it's "My Generation" or something...
    Nah, it's "I'm Designer". I love the robotic pulse. It's one of the album's highlights for sure.

    2.Starts with acoustic. I think this is instrumental. Probably Cloudkicker, but I'd have difficulty telling you what album. I'm going to guess it's off of Beacons...

    Guessed too soon. The vocals start over a minute in. I should have more patience. It's actually Orion Pax, off of a split they did with Caitlyn Bailey and some other bands. Never listened to the band, so there's no way I'd get this.

    3. Live. Chugs. Death metal. I want to say Suffocation, The Close of a Chapter (Live in Quebec City). Now I'm thinking about Quebec City. It's a nice place. Good night life.
    Let me check. Totally wrong. Morbid Angel, Entangled in Chaos. The song is Day of Suffering. I'm not doing too well here.

    4. Punk riffs, low production, powerviolence-y vocals. Weekend Nachos? Torture EP?

    Filthy Christians, Mean. Jesus, I don't listen to anything off of my iPod ever. I dig this, though. I should give it another listen.

    5. Fu Manchu, Drive, off of King of the Road. This is basically my favourite kind of music in the world. Metal is second. There's no way I wouldn't get this. I'm not even going to check. I know this song so well.

    6. Slow start, guitar strings being plucked. Female vocals. Gothy doom. This could be In the Woods... off of the one album of theirs I have that I don't listen to, but I'm guessing it's more Green Carnation, who I've listened to once. A little predictable with its progressive rock, but it has its charm. So, Journey to the End of Night?

    Atrox, "What Crawls Underneath", from Contentum. Great album, but I do need to listen to it again. I get too lazy with my music listening. If all female gothic vocalists sound the same to me, something is wrong.

    7. Hip hop. Dude helps me out by saying his name in the second line. Big L, the Big Issue. My brother's into stuff like this. It kind of rubbed off on me. Name of the song (after checking) is "Fall Back".

    8. Someone's yelling at me about something. Metalcore in the older sense. No clue what it is.

    KEN Mode, "Lethe", off of Reprisal. Yeah, these guys never did a hell of a lot for me. This song's okay, but not much more interesting than that.

    9. Accordion. If it goes to black metal, this will be easy. Otherwise, I'm fucked. Okay, wait, no, it's gonna stay like this. Eastern European. Had to check. I got shafted. It's some random Belorussian band off of a compilation called "Fuck Lukaschenko". I have no luck.

    10. Tech-death. Oh, this is easy. Spasme - Deep Inside. First lyrics of the song. I love Quebec death.

    4/10. I got two songs from compilations, which will ALWAYS fuck you over. Still, I should have gotten Morbid Angel. And not getting Atrox is a clear sign of laziness. I need to start listening to bands that aren't Blind Guardian, Iron Maiden, Queens of the Stone Age or Fu Manchu. And I need to edit my library. I'm just glad I'm not being asked for my opinion on new records any more (I don't have one).

  11. You think compilations are bad, consider compilations of classical music!

    Thanks for playing. I would urge re-listening to Atrox as their singer is anything but a bland Theater Of Tragedy-type of singer. In a somewhat funny way, you got the song where she does almost no vocal acrobatics, sounds like her sister in The 3rd and the Mortal. No excuses for not getting 'Day of Suffering', though. Sounds like nothing else!

  12. Hey bros. I'm having a quiet night in, so I thought I'd wreck it by playing along with this little experiment here. I have a fucking TRILLION mp3s of shit I've never bothered to listen to, so I'm fully anticipating to be exposed as an utter failure right now. Fuck yeah!

    1) Ok. Harsh screamy vocals kick this shit out right out of the gate. Has that crunchy/dirty tone that a lot of newer Southern Lord bands have nowadays. Now devolving into an reverb-laden sludge section. The Secret, maybe? I don't know. It's definitely new, you can tell because it sounds exactly like everything else.

    Elitist - Tidal Influence

    2) Creedence Clearwater Revival - Someday Never Comes. Epic band.

    3) Listen to that bass! Rumbly as a motherfucker. Sounds very "powerviolent." Mammoth Grinder? Mind Eraser? I think it's Mind Eraser. Final answer: Mind Eraser.

    Mind Eraser - Clever Lines

    4) Gorefest. Something from 'La Muerte', I think. Dude has some of the raddest and most distinct vocals ever.

    Gorefest - The Call

    5) Grindy, crashy, sludgy underproduced something-or-other. Vocalist is standing too close to the mic. Sounds like a live Acrid track? Yeah. This is Acrid. Something from '86'd.'

    Acrid - Collapse

    6) Uh. The fuck is this? Some piano-infused orchestral intro? Now it's turned into some corny dual vocal black metal thing. Ugh. I don't like the keyboards. Holy shit, now it sounds like some 70's pyche band. And now it sounds like more symphonic black metal again. Totally fucking bi-polar. WHAT IS THIS? Nice weak-ass outro. I'm deleting whatever that was forever after I'm done with this.

    Meads of Asphodel - The Gods Who Mock Us

    7) Green Day - '21st Century Breakdown'. I only know the name because it's in the chorus. Surprisingly, I was a pretty big fan of 'American Idiot', but I think this one sorta sucks.

    8) Talking Heads - Memories Can't Wait. I did a post on a 'best of' comp a while back and it STILL hasn't been taken down. That's pretty rad.

    9) Helicopter death metal riffing. This could be anything - just like, the most generic semi-brutal death metal. Sounds like Euro-Suffocation or something. Not bad, but you'll never have Frank Mullen as a vocalist, dudes.

    Insision - Curvature

    10) I know this immediately. Doomriders - 'Death Box'. Nate's got an awesome voice, and he sings about skateboarding. A good bro all around.

    11) More contemporary grindcore. I don't know. The song was really short. Nails? Hatred Surge? Phobia? Like, this stuff is pretty good and aggro and shit, but all you really need is Assuck and Discordance Axis. Everything else is just lukewarm and disposable, you know?

    Nails - Your God

    12) Very techy death metal - clicky drums and sweepy as shit. Is this the new Origin? Yeah. The high/low trade offs and weird staccato section gives it away. No idea what this is called, but it's from 'Entity'. They wrote an actual song here, which is pretty cool. Let's all take a moment to offer congrats to Origin for putting a song together.

    Origin - Consequence of Solution

    I did much better than I thought I would, thanks to iTunes throwing me a few softballs. Now please excuse me while I clean up my hard drive.

  13. OK, full disclosure, this is a loaner laptop, so this is going to be much easier than it would've been on my dead Mac, which was loaded to the fucking gills with music.

    1. Slayer, "Mandatory Suicide." That was easy. Hated South of Heaven when it came out. This was the Judas move worse than Maiden's bullshit Somewhere in Time. But I've learned to love it, mostly b/c of what my buddy Todd DePalma has to say about it. I've never learned to love Somewhere in Time.

    2. Twisted Sister. Don't know the song. It's from the Clubdaze thing DePalma just set me up with. Dee doesn't have the command yet, but it's unmistakably him.

    3. Metallica, "Blitzkrieg." Bam. Heard it a billion times. Killer riff. Burp.

    4. Possessed, "Seven Churches." Bam. Heard it a billion times. Killer RIFF. Becerra rules.

    5. Hmm... Sounds 80s. Ah, shit. It's Oz. Don't know the name of the tune. It's off the new one though, Burning Leather. Just wrote it up for the mag. Reminds me of the Lethal Weapon movies. Don't know the title. It's "Turn The Cross Upside Down."

    6. Bass. Snare. Brian Tatler. Diamond Head. Sounds like something off Lightning to the Nations. It is. "I Don't Got."

    7. Van Halen, "Could This Be Magic?" At first I thought it was "Bron-y-aur Stomp" or whatever it's called by Zep. My second fave VH record behind Fair Warning.

    8. Guitar... Maiden. Powerslave. "Back In The Village." Two to go.

    9. Pentagram. Thought that would be tougher since every other band out now sounds either like them or Isis. It's off First Daze Here. Don't know the title. Ah, "Be Forewarned." Dig this fucking shit. One more.

    10. Ha ha... Wagner. It's from Tristan und Isolde.

    Maybe I'll try this again Friday night after about 300 beers.

  14. Thanks for playing. First perfect score. But that laptop's being easy on you. If the mac's truly dead, I suggest you ingest said alcohol and have someone neutral (significant other's allowed only if they've got a mean streak) pick from your record collection while you've got your back turned in your recliner chair. It'll be even more humiliating on vinyl.

    Also, dare others to go through the challenge. It doesn't have to be in the comments of this blog, let them do it for their own avenues. Let all poses be exposed, the metal blogosphere needs a good cleansing.

  15. Where's DePalma on this, also.

  16. Was surprised. I've got a lot of music on this thing, and most of it, maybe 30 to 40 records are promos, so I got some real softballs. I'll try it again Friday and see what happens. Fun exercise.

    I'll tell you, honestly, it would be easier with my LPs cuz I've been weeding out the stuff I don't consider essential. And I've realized I know/recall actual song titles from LPs, whereas with mp3's I don't remember anything but the artist/album title.

  17. I want to try the beer challenge :D